Life is One Long Trust Fall
I’ve always wanted to be quotable.
But I’m just not. I don’t have that kind of command of language. I’m really more of a generator of short sayings. When it really comes down to it, I’m more of a bumper sticker type gal.
I thought of one the other day.
“Life is one long trust fall.”
I need that bumper sticker. I have no idea if what I’m trying today will have legs. I don’t know if I’ll be working at the same job next year. I have no idea if my interests will stay the same or continue to change rapidly. I don’t know if my creative ideas will take off or fail. I don’t know who I’ll meet, where I’ll end up, if my health will continue, if my money will hold out.
And, I really have to learn to be ok with that. Sometimes, I think I’m doing well and can accept all sorts of change around me. And other times, well, it’s not pretty. It’s not what I want. It’s not what I deserve. It’s not what I need. I have yet to learn to welcome every change that comes my way. I have yet to learn to glide effortlessly along with the currents of change. I have yet to trust that the less I struggle, the less painful it will be.
How often have I fought with my own effort in some deep yoga pose, forgetting that ease is a prerequisite for energy to shift? How many times have I pushed for a certain outcome, making myself even more needy and grasping? How often have I forgotten that I can’t control people’s reactions?
If I could just remember that life is like that game we played when we were young. Close your eyes. Put your arms across your chest. Turn around and fall. We’ve got you.
Doing something new in life (starting over, moving, getting a new job, leaving a relationship, starting a family, taking any kind of risk really) involves that kind of fear and trust. People say, “jump and the net will appear.” I say that it’s a bit misleading to think you can see where you’re heading. It’s more like choosing to fall backward, eyes closed tightly, gripping your own shoulders for support, praying you don’t land flat on your back. Afraid and exhilarated all at once. And sometimes, grieving on the way down.
Choosing to do it anyway. Saying yes. One long trust fall.
Postscript: I just googled “life is one long trust fall” and it turns out that it’s not an original concept. Damn. I was so proud of myself for that one. Back to the bumper sticker drawing board.