A Little Help From My Friends
I think we all need help as we stumble through major life changes. We need help from people who have walked through them before. No doubt we need the love and support of friends and family, but we need more. We need elders, guides, collective wisdom.
Major life change for me was just that- MAJOR LIFE CHANGE. The way my life was before, ceased to exist in an instant. My life was never the same afterward. My heart broke open in an all-together new way. My old life hung like the burst wings of a seedpod, suddenly too small, too shriveled, cracked.
I needed help most acutely at two distinct times in that change. At the beginning, when the ground was shifting under my feet, I was disoriented. Confused. Bewildered. None of the skills I relied on before seemed to help. I didn’t understand what was happening, and I needed a safe space to talk through my worries. A volcano was erupting and I couldn’t see where the damn mountain was.
Was I overreacting? Was this a matter of right and wrong? What was going on??? I needed someone to hear me and say that yes, things sounded odd. I needed someone to tell me to stop struggling and let it happen. Nonresistance???? But, I need to know what’s happening!! Nonresistance? Oh. No. Resistance. None. Not even to seek information. The idea of nonresistance had not occurred to me.
The someone I found was a kind of spiritual teacher with a southern accent, really, encouraging me to seek the deepest truths and accept whatever was coming without resisting it. She gave me the courage to stand in the battlefield without fighting back. To forgive without holding a shield as protection against what might happen next. She helped forge what I still believe to be right and true today.
Much later, I needed a different kind of help. I had huge doubts about myself, inside and out. Why hadn’t I sensed what was happening? Where was my intuition? Why do I feel so worn out now? My self worth was at an all time low, and I needed to know why. And I found women who helped me discover my own truth meter, the way my body communicates, and get in contact again with my value, spunk, and sass. I was inspired by women I’ve only met online, like lovely sweet Vivienne McMaster who helps people accept their bodies through self portraiture. And nerdy, hilarious, magical author and speaker Martha Beck, who gives the world life coaching tools. And creative flow goddess Flora Bowley, who teaches intuitive painting. And spunky stripes and polka-dots Stasia Savuk who inspires and challenges women to step into bigger versions of themselves. Thank God for all these women.
I was supported, nudged, held, led by counselors, friends, family, women who had been betrayed, teachers, mothers, elders, seekers. All their stories, skill and wisdom play a part in my healing.
I thank the Universe for putting people in my path who led the way. Amen.
In case you are curious: