Perspective. It’s all about perspective.
I just did my taxes, and I have 2 choices.
One, I could be depressed and kind of freaked out because I made so little last year. What am I going to do for the rest of my life? Why on EARTH can’t I get my shit together and buckle down to a PLAN?? Why can’t I find a full time job? How will I ever retire? Sometimes, I cap these thoughts off with some nice berating... you're a loser, you should be doing better, yada yada, yada. Sigh.
Or two, I could be amazed at how perfectly the universe is taking care of me in this midlife transition of mine.
I am blessed with an incredible, supportive family who puts up with my tendency to sneak vegetables into every meal. I have savings into which I can dip. I have time and freedom to explore a variety of careers, no big bills right now, and a healthy curiosity. I have a growing group of new friends and colleagues- people with fresh ideas and inspiration. I feel richer than I’ve felt in years.
I am being taken care of in most every area of my life. Hell, I started my own business and blog, and I have clients! Wha?!
I spent 3 months learning about herbal medicine, and then I supplemented that with dog training... because it soooooo goes together. Now, I’m learning structural integration because I want a physical job that teaches me to stay grounded and present. And, I am learning how to code websites because I want an intellectually stimulating job that keeps me learning new things.
Maybe these interests will be side jobs.
Maybe they’ll take off.
Maybe I’ll walk down these paths and change my mind.
Who knows?! But, at least I’m moving. I’m no longer afraid to start. Nothing is holding me back right now except for my own fear, which used to be totally convincing. Now it’s just annoying. Insistent sometimes, but it’s no longer winning the race.
Fear walking is courage, right? So, I’m walking. Scared inside but moving anyway.
How kick ass is that?